Closing a Circle

The Circle is one of the most basic symbols of mankind (read more about it here). To a large extent our natural world is made up of circles, starting with the Earth, the Sun and the Moon. Our lives seem to move in circles: we often return to the same places, events, and people. The human life also forms a kind of circle: when we’re babies we don’t move much, we need all the support we can get and in our very old age we return to that state.
At 88 my mother is slowly closing her circle. The last years she has completely stopped walking, her vision and hearing have deteriorated, and she sleeps most of the time. It feels as if we were follow her slow disappearing.
Since I live far away I can only visit her every second month, which feels far too seldom, especially as talking by phone does not work anymore. My only way to keep in touch in between visits is writing a little letter once a week – then at least she knows I’m thinking of her.
Such a sad and strange feeling to follow a dear person taking farewell from life slowly, but surely. It is as if mother were retiring into her centre, only opening up the “windows to the outside world” every now and then. When she does, luckily she is still fully there: she recognises me, asks for my family and friends and sometimes she even comment on what I’m wearing or my perfume. These little glimpses of mother-as-she-used-to-be make me, and all of us, very happy. They help us to understand that after all she is still among us because she wants to. Perhaps she will stay until the circle of life of a new generation is about to start …

Those moments, when she smiles her special smile..

Those moments, when she smiles her special smile..

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