Ever since I was a child, you have always been there, like a faithful friend. In those days I sporadically kept a journal, wrote lots of notes to my friends during classes, and loved essay writing. My teacher once said I had the talent to become a columnist at a paper ☺
After school and university I continued being an avid writer of letters until e-mails replaced them. From time to time I held some kind of journal, but unfortunately not during the times when I really would have needed to “write things off”. I still had not realized your healing power – or perhaps I wasn’t brave enough to see certain truths
face to face.
I am ashamed to say that you did not properly re-enter the scene until thirty years later, when I prepared for my “Big Leap”. At that time I questioned my whole life and everything I was doing – and not doing. Suddenly I realised that it was you I wanted to explore and that, after all these years, I finally had to give you the special place you deserved. I understood that you are one of the pillars of my long sought after creative expression. Today, after building up a proper relationship with you again, I can see that you are also my biggest source for self-knowledge. It is when I sit down to write that insights come to me, as if the hand’s movement over the paper (or the fingers’ movement over the keyboard) starts off thought processes, open up blockages and make me see things clearly.
Finally I have realised your importance in my life. You help me to live authentically, because through you I learn how to express my innermost essence. But as we all know change is the only constant in life so I regularly redefine myself. To work with you, dear writing, is the way to do that for me.
It may sound presumptuous, but I see myself as a “writer”. Not in the sense of producing books, but in the sense of being a person who writes because she feels the urge to do so. I write both to find the way IN (to discover my deepest needs and wishes), and to find the way OUT (trying to convey insights and inspiration to others).
Dear Writing, thank you for not giving up on me when I neglected you, but pushing your way forward to finally make me realise your importance in my life. I will not let go of you again. As long as I am able to write I will continue to do so. No matter if by hand or on the computer, even though I feel it is important to keep up writing by hand, since that seems to create other synapses in the brain. I will continue to write every day, even if I have to push myself to it.
Finally you have gotten the space you deserve in my life, and I realise how crucial a regular and loving relationship with you is. Thank you for helping me grow and develop as a human being and to share my world with others.
Lots of love,