The Empty Head

Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by my own request to write one blog post a week.
It doesn’t seem much: one small text of around 300 words – that’s nothing! However,
there’s a whole process behind it, and my problem is the starting point: to find a subject. That’s by far the most difficult part. Once I have a subject that speaks to me, the words
come by themselves, more or less.
Often when I sit down to write, my head feels completely empty, as if a heavy wind had
passed through it, swiping away every single thought or idea. There’s only stillness and
the basic vibration of energy. Luckily, most often I come up with something after having
let the pen wander over the paper for a couple of pages. A little idea has been born. Well, what if I don’t push myself to write when the emptiness buzzes in my head? What if I only
close my eyes, feel my heartbeat and stay there? Then no words will be written.
I give myself tasks, or am given tasks by others, and I want to fulfill them. I don’t want
to disappoint anybody! For me, not fulfilling a task I gave myself feels just as bad as not fulfilling one I got from a boss or a colleague at work: as if I’m not living up to my own expectations or my own calling, because “that’s what I’m here for”. Yes, I still let myself
be defined by what I do…
Now, perhaps I have nothing to share this week, nothing to say. Perhaps I’ll just let my
head stay empty and retire into my heart, accepting that I cannot live up to my demand
and that there will be silence. After all, that silence might even be fruitful for next
week’s blog post.
Perhaps you, my readers, have suggestions for themes or topics to write about…? I’d be more than happy to hear them, and I’ll do my best to fulfil those requests – without too much pressure! 😉

When the wind of emptiness fills my head

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